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THE DAILY GROANER - May 14, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,


FYI - The typo in last Monday's issue was an accident. The typo in Wednesday's issue was on purpose.

Now, with that out of the way... we are back! That's right. My family is back to our previous residence. Hooray!

I'm not gonna lie, it's been a little crazy. I think this has been harder than the first time we moved in.

It's been weird, too. The house is the same, but different. It has a vibe to it now. Like in the end of Poltergiest when little Carol Anne has been saved and the Freeling family thinks that "This house is clean" and then all hell breaks loose. Stacy and I are kind of in a state of waiting for all hell to break loose...if that makes any sense.

The bleeding walls, doors opening and closing on their own, the lights flickering, and that one toilet that just won't flush, really seem alarming now.

Seriously, it's good to be home.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- My Arm Hurts --*

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doctor, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.

"Hello Doctor, could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate" the arm says.

The doctor says, "Aha! I see the problem... Your arm is broke!"



*-- Two Ropes Walk Into A Bar... --*

Two ropes walk into a bar. They sit down and the bartender says, "Hey we don't serve ropes in here."

Both ropes get up and step outside. One rope says, "I'm going to find another bar" and the other rope starts to ruffle and tie himself in a knot. "Well I'm going back in there, who does he think he is?"

So the rope goes back into the same bar. When the bartender comes over and spots the same rope he says, "Hey didn't I just tell you that I don't serve ropes?...."

The rope says "Yep" and then the bartender asks, "You are a rope aren't you?"

The rope replies, "I'm a frayed knot."



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why are handcuffs like cheap souvenirs?

A: They're both two wrist traps.


Q: What's the best way to make pants last?

A: Make the jacket first.

***

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