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Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Good morning crew,

I have to hand it to the wife. She came up with a dance theme that nobody else at last weekend's event had. And there were a lot of participants.

Doing a 'theme' seems to be a popular thing at these balls. Not everyone did a theme. Some couples just danced a tango or a foxtrot or a meringue, but why simply dance when you can perform a little, 90-second dramatic or comedic play?

I'll give you some examples; there was one couple who walked out onto the dance floor dressed like Han Solo and Princess Leia from the Star Wars movies. They were accompanied by a third person dressed like Darth Vader. When the music started they attacked Darth, but he paralysed them using the 'Force' and then forced them to dance with each other (instead of freezing them in carbonite or dropping them down a reactor core).

Another couple dressed up as Princess Jasmine and the Genie from the Disney's 'Aladdin', despite the fact that the Genie and Jasmine don't have a scene together in that movie. Personally, I thought that was a tad insensitive considering the event was being held in a Middle Eastern themed and owned restaurant/banquet hall, but nobody else seemed to care.

But the wife as the only one to recreate a scene from a B martial arts movie from the '70s.

Her dance partner walked out onto the dance floor like a kung fu bad guy, flanked by two thugs (played by myself and another dance instructor from her school). Then she came out on the other side of the floor to challenge him.

When the music started her partner sent his two minions in to be handily dismantled, and when she was done with us, the two of them did a cha-cha (because you see a lot of that in Jackie Chan movies).

The dance seemed to go off pretty well. I'm no expert, but it looked pretty cool to me. The wife even worked in some taekwondo kicks and blocks to carry the theme through the whole performance.

The martial arts part at the beginning I thought needed more practice. Martial arts techniques need a lot of timing and precision to look good, and really, we only rehearsed that part twice.

But apparently I was in the minority. A dozen people or more went out of their way to approach the wife and congratulate her on her performance. One instructor from another school even told her she had never seen anything like it. And that was from a professional dance instructor.

And all of that praise tells me on important thing; there are a lot of bloody violent people in the dancing community.

Laugh it up,


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"Researchers are claiming that humans can only maintain close relationships with five people. Which should make for an interesting Mother's Day for my mom and her six kids." -Conan O'Brien


"Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options. Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It's the half a burrito you woke up next to." -Seth Meyers


"The U.S. Surgeon General released a statement this week that said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to everyone's surprise, he added, 'Even if you're just going out to have a smoke. Just stand up for once.'" -Jimmy Fallon


Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.

"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.

"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.

"Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us."

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"

"That's right," he called back, "two pints."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Do you take the bible literally? If so, here are a few questions:

1. Do you really believe that Mary was the virgin mother of Jesus?

2. Is Jesus the Lamb of God?

3. Does this mean that Mary had a little lamb?