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Friday, May 4, 2018

Good morning crew,

This weekend is the wife's martial arts inspired dance performance. Fortunately my involvement will only last ten or twelve seconds, but I'm the one who ends up on his back.

Because the timing is so tight everything has to be perfect the first time. Lucky we practiced for 15 minutes three weeks ago.

Should go off without a hitch.

Laugh it up,


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"I read that hoarding is getting worse in the U.S. and affects over 15 million Americans. Of course it might be higher now, 'cuz I read that in a newspaper I've been saving since 2003." -Jimmy Fallon


"A California man who police say was drunk and hungry broke into a Taco Bell this weekend in the middle of the night and ate taco ingredients. It's one of those rare offenses where the punishment is the crime." -Seth Meyers


"7-Eleven has announced they are going to be offering healthier options for their customers. The CEO said, 'We want our customers to live to be as old as one of our hot dogs.'" -Conan O'Brien


I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's jeans at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head.

"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

My sister didn't do as well on her driver's ed test as she'd hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: "When the ___ is dead, the car won't start."

She wrote: "Driver."