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Monday, April 30, 2018

Good morning crew,

I read today that the University of Utah has provided a "Cry Closet" for stressed out students. It's a free-standing closet filled with stuffed animals that students can take short breaks in when final exams have them on the brink of tears.

What a joke. Wait until these kids get into the real world and they find that there are no "Cry Closets". They'll have to be content with crying in the shower in the morning, in the toilet stall at work, and on the drive home.

You know, like the rest of us.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"One of the world's top Donkey Kong players has been stripped of his records for cheating. He was going to be sentenced to life, but turns out he doesn't have one." -Conan O'Brien

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"Today Americans celebrated national Take Our Sons and Daughters to Work Day. Tomorrow kids will celebrate New Appreciation for Going to School Day." -Jimmy Fallon

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"After being bitten by a shark last week, a Colorado man achieved a rare distinction of being attacked by a shark, bear, and rattlesnake all within the last four years. Or as it was reported to the man, you're not allowed back at the zoo." -Seth Meyers

***

My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.

An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy is she r-u-d-e!"

"Yeah," he replied, "but I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian.

She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.

I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..."