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Monday, April 23, 2018

Good morning crew,

As it turned out, we did not go to see that group get drunk on stage at the bar last Friday night. The wife got a little carried away with her email and Facebook and Twitter invites, and by the time Friday evening rolled around we had about a dozen people at the house. A couple bottles of wine were opened, people started drinking beer, and a few hours later everybody had forgotten about the show.

Well, it was definitely cheaper than spending 5 hours at the bar and the entertainment was almost identical.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"This weekend is the 80th birthday of Superman. Now that he's 80, Superman is rendered helpless by Kryptonite and his email password." -Conan O'Brien

***

"A group of scientists in Singapore built a robot that can put together Ikea furniture. That's when you know something's wrong, when it's easier to build a robot than an Ikea dresser." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m." -James Corden

***

Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"

Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!"

The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.

Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"

Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately.

It was raining hard and I couldn't play golf either so I just talked to my wife for a few hours.

Seems like a nice person.