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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Good morning crew,

I am not the only instructor at my taekwondo school. I'm the only instructor in his 40s, but in addition to myself there is a young woman in her teens and a young guy named Zack. I never asked him, but Zack is almost certainly between 18 and 20, and he's by far the most popular instructor there. Probably because he plays a lot of games with the kids (instead of teaching them martial arts), but also because he's young, and funny, and not short-tempered and cynical like another instructor there who might be calloused by an extra couple decades of disappointment and frustration.

Anyway, last night, after class, I was standing outside of the dojang (or exercise area) monitoring the kids as they filed out, greeted their waiting parents, collected their street clothes, and generally prepared to leave the school, when one of the students, a young girl maybe 11 or 12-years-old, came up to me and asked, "Instructor Joe, do you know which locker is Instructor Zack's?"

"Why?" I asked.

She kind of glanced around a bit and leaned closer to me to say, "I want to leave him a note."

"It's probably best you don't go snooping around other people's lockers," I told her. "If you want to give Instructor Zack a note you can hand it to him when he comes out of the dojang."

She took that philosophically and walked away without further conversation, but I saw that a parent who was sitting close by had heard the conversation.

"It looks like somebody's got a crush on Instructor Zack," the parent said to me.

"Could be," I answered. Then after thinking about it for a few seconds I added, "It's been about 15 years since anybody's had a crush on me."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you hear about the burglar who tried to disguise his face by wearing a plastic bag over his head? Read that story by clicking: www.bizarrenews.com




"According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it's fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"The IRS has introduced new technology allowing you to pay your taxes at a 7-Eleven. So just imagine: You can now declare your earnings from 2017 while eating a hot dog from 2005." -Conan O'Brien

***

"The only fun thing about filing your tax return is getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a weird thing to be happy about. That means you've been overpaying all year long. It's like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff and brought it back and you said, 'Oh, presents.'" -Jimmy Kimmel

***

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack-bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a "real" pilot. Still others congratulate me for making it in a male-dominated field.

One day, I was in the restroom before a flight. I was at the sink, brushing my teeth, when a woman walked through the door and looked over at me. "My sister would be so proud of you!" she remarked. I figured her sister must be in the airline business, so I smiled and asked why.

Replied the woman, "She's a dentist."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

For the first few months of her co-op job for the state of Georgia, my sister had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles. One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker.

"I know," she complained. "Everyone thinks state workers have it easy. But there's only so much you can pretend you're doing."