GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com

Monday, April 16, 2018

Good morning crew,

So this weekend the wife showed me what she wants me to do in her martial arts style dance routine. She wants to throw me and she asked me what kind of falls I'd be willing to do. Now there are easy falls and there are difficult falls, and I've done most of them, but I've always done them on a padded floor. Saturday I did them on a hardwood dance floor. It was not pleasant.

On the plus side the wife's dance instructor and partner was fairly impressed. We did several throws, but the one everybody liked was when I attack her and she twists me around and flips me over onto my back.

We practiced it 3 or 4 times to get the timing right. After that I needed several stiff drinks as an analgesic.

The bruises are a little startling, but I think everything is still pretty much intact.

Her performance isn't for another three weeks, which should be just enough time for me to heal up from rehearsal.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"Experts say the majority of Facebook users had their data harvested from taking online quizzes. So, it's worse than we thought - now, Russia also knows how stupid we are." -Conan O'Brien

***

"Flu season is behind us, allergy season is here. It's nice to see people in L.A. allergic to something other than gluten for a change." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

"A new report did not name New York City as one of the 25 best places to live in the country. 'I'm shocked!' said an adult New Yorker with six roommates." -Seth Meyers

***

During his physical, a doctor asked his patient about his daily activity level.

The man said, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees."

Impressed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"Outdoorsman nothing," replied the man, "I'm just a lousy golfer."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport.

The rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you over there at South Bend?"

The youngster said, "Of course not, Father!"

Top Viewed Issues