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Saturday, April 7, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The only way to have more money is to spend less of it or make more of it. Or, you could steal it. But how? Run into a bank waving a gun around? That's a good way to get shot.

One entrepreneur in Arizona came up with a creative way to make his circumstances work for him.

A firefighter who was deep in debt lit fires and then stole cash from his colleagues who were working to extinguish the flames, according to police.

Phoenix police said that they have arrested 36-year-old Ryan Donahue after being accused of stealing cash from at least 8 fire stations. Donahue was charged with theft, arson, burglary, and criminal damage. He has since been placed on unpaid leave.

According to the police investigation, Donahue was a firefighter for the past 11 years. Recently, Donahue began struggling with drugs and he accumulated a lot of debt. Donahue decided to steal cash from his colleagues. He intentionally set fires, and when his colleagues went out of the fire stations to fight the fires, Donahue went inside and took cash from their wallets.

Donahue admitted to stealing cash from his colleagues on at least 8 occasions.

It sounds like he could have made more money as an arsonist.

Speaking of firefighters, we finally have our very first Bizarre Reader of the Month!

Out of the three whole submissions I've received this was the only one what wasn't vulgar or obscene.

So head over to and go to the bottom of the page to find out who your fellow Bizarre readers are. Then write your own submission for next month!


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Click

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*----------- Sing a Song of Sixpence -----------*

A pocket full of rye, six and twenty finches stuffed in their socks. That's a lot of finches to smuggle into the country. Federal authorities said two men were arrested at a New York airport for trying to concealed 26 live birds in hair curlers. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said New York residents Victor Benjamin and Insaf Ali were stopped at John F. Kennedy International Airport after arriving from Guyana. The men were found to be concealing 26 live finches that were placed inside hair curlers and stuffed into their socks. Granted, finches are small birds, but that's still pretty impressive. Finches from Guyana are prized for their singing voices. "Although certain species of finch are available in the United States, species from Guyana are believed to sing better and are therefore more highly sought after," Gabriel Harper of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said. "An individual willing to smuggle finches into the United States from Guyana can earn a large profit by selling these birds in the New York area."


*---- Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace ----*

A Nevada dad stole the scene at the moment of his daughter's engagement when he interrupted the proposal with a sign reading, "SAY NO." Levi Bliss, 23, conspired with his relatives and the family of Allison Barron, 22, to surprise his intended while he popped the question in a scenic location. Bliss had Barron's family set up letters spelling "Marry Me?" on the side of a large hill and he then took his girlfriend driving past the display and stopped to officially propose. Barron's family hid in the bushes nearby and her father interrupted the proposal unexpectedly by popping out holding a sign reading, "SAY NO." Barron told Inside Edition it was another of her father's famous "dad jokes." The couple said the only one not amused by the sign was Bliss' mom. "She was kind of mad about it," Bliss said.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------* exactly does one "accidentally" use marijuana? I fail to see how that is possible. Did she think it was oregano? -Chris
[Maybe she fell face-first onto a joint.]

Lewis, it's a good thing tasers weren't around when I was a kid. My mother (God bless her) could do a hell of a lot of damage with a slipper. I can't imagine her armed with a taser.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*