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Friday, April 6, 2018

Good morning crew,

Snow again last night. It actually accumulated a bit, too. Not much, maybe a quarter inch of icy frost, but enough to extinguish any ember of hope for a return of warm weather.

You know, waking up to a frost covered morning in November is exciting. 17 days into spring it's just depressing.

Laugh it up,


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"The NCAA Tournament wrapped up last night, with Villanova coming out on top! And if you won your office March Madness pool, congratulations - all of your coworkers hate you now." -Jimmy Fallon


"Bed Bath & Beyond is currently offering store credit in exchange for Toys-R-Us gift cards. Said kids, 'Umm... I guess I'll take the whiskey decanter?'" -Seth Meyers


"A man in New Orleans could be facing a life sentence for stealing $31 worth of candy from a drug store. I feel for this guy. That has got to be a tough conversation once you're in prison. 'Yeah, I'm in for armed robbery and arson, what about you?' 'Oh, you know, the new peanut butter Twix.'" -James Corden


The wife left a note on the fridge:

"It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."

I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold.

I wonder what the hell she is talking about?

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

One day Ole and Sven were paging through the Sears Catalog and admiring all the beautiful models.

Ole said to Sven, "Haf you seen da perdy girls in dis catalog?"

Sven replied, "Ya. Dey sure are bootiful, an yust look at da prices!"

Ole looked wide eyed and said, "Yumpin' yimminy. Dey ain't very expensive. At dees prices I'm buyin' me vun."

Sven smiled, patted Ole on the back and said, "by golly Ole, if she's as perdy as she looks in da catalog, I vill get vun too."

Three weeks later Sven came by and asked Ole, "did ja ever git dat girl you ordered from da Sears Catalog?"

Ole replied, "no, but it von't be long now, her clothes came yesterday!"