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Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A California man successfully launched a homemade steam-powered rocket as part of an ongoing effort to prove the earth is flat.

"Mad" Mike Hughes, a 61-year-old limo driver, launched himself in a steam-powered rocket with the words "research flat earth" 1,875 feet into the air above the Mojave desert achieving an estimated speed of 350 mph before activating his parachute.

Hughes was forced to deploy a second parachute as the rocket began falling too quickly. The rocket's nose broke in two places and Hughes landed on the ground with a bump, which left him with a sore back.

"Am I glad I did it? Yeah. I guess," he said. "I'll feel it in the morning. I won't be able to get out of bed. At least I can go home and have dinner and see my cats tonight."

Hughes has spent $20,000 since 2016 in his pursuit of launching the homemade rocket. A planned launch in 2017 was scrapped as the converted motorhome he used to launch the rocket broke down and he couldn't obtain a permit.

Despite stating the rocket "wants to kill you 10 different ways" Hughes said he was relieved to have completed the launch.

"I'm tired of people saying I chickened out and didn't build a rocket. I'm tired of that stuff. I manned up and did it," he said.

Hughes has expressed a belief that the earth is "like a Frisbee -- or flat" and ultimately hopes to raise enough funds to build a "Rockoon" rocket carried into the atmosphere by a gas-filled balloon, to travel about 68 miles upward and photograph the Earth. Sunday's launch was a little more a third of a mile.

"My story really is incredible," he said. "It's got a bunch of story lines -- the garage-built thing. I'm an older guy. It's out in the middle of nowhere, plus the Flat Earth. The problem is it brings out all the nuts also, people questioning everything. It's the downside of all this."


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*--------- With This Ring I Thee Wood ---------*

A Florida woman seeking to save a tree from being chopped down by the city held a wedding where she became married to the ficus. Karen Cooper said she and other neighbors of Snell Family Park in Fort Myers were distraught when they learned the city's Beautification Advisory Board plan to have the giant ficus, which is more than 100 years old, removed from the park. Cooper organized an event at the park where she and several other brides in white gowns said their vows to the tree. "If they cut down this tree, I'm going to be a widow," Cooper said. Ward 5 Councilman Fred Burson, the only city official who attended the wedding, vowed to fight for the ficus. "If we don't get it settled at the Beautification Board meeting, I'll take it to the City Council," he said.


*----------- Burrito Assaults Are Up -----------*

This is what happens when anybody can get their hands on burritos without proper background checks or licensing. A man in Wyoming was arrested after fighting with his sister over a cup. Casper police arrested 20-year-old Gage L. Fisher, who allegedly threw a hot burrito at his younger sister, causing a burn to her left arm. According to police, the suspect's mother told the officers that her two children were arguing over a cup after Fisher believed that his younger sister took it while was drinking. The woman said that she told her son to leave the house to calm the situation but Fisher became angry with his mother for taking his sister's side in the fight. "Fisher then threw a hot burrito, which had just been taken out of the microwave, at his sister. The burrito hit his arm and caused a burn," police said. The officers noted that the sister's left arm had a red mark "consistent with something hot, like a burrito, striking it," according to the police report. A burrito shaped burn mark? Fisher was charged assault. It is not known if the burrito was acquired legally.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

This couple in Ohio were at least a couple hundred feet away from the playground while they were having sex. And the kids were complete strangers. Parents have sex in the very next room from their own kids. Just feet away. Think about it! Perverts.

These smugglers are getting lazy with all this taping drugs around your legs stuff. In the old days cartels would pay mules to swallow a dozen condoms filled with cocaine. It's almost impossible to find that.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*