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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Good morning crew,

The wife had a dance recital to go to last Sunday, so she couldn't go to our little, local St. Patrick's Day parade with me. That means we had to celebrate the salvation of ancient Eriu from the pagan snakes the old fashioned way, by pub crawling around our neighborhood on Saturday.

Unfortunately we started at 2 in the afternoon, because I'm not 21-years-old anymore and I start to get pretty tired by 8 or 9 p.m. The consequence of this precocious start was that the first couple places we went to were mostly empty.

I mean, it's nice to walk right up to the bar and instantly have the attention of the bar tender, but it doesn't make for a lot of excitement. At least not while you're stone cold sober.

But the later it got the more populated the watering holes got, so by the last one we had to elbow our way through a fairly jumping St. Patty's Day party. But after 5 stops I was starting to get worn down. While everyone else was toasting 'slainte' and singing 'Danny Boy' and buying each other rounds of Jameson, I was eyeing the corned beef and boiled cabbage special on the takeout menu.

On the plus side, after ten o'clock is usually when all the bizarre stuff starts to happen, like; doing stunts for strings of beads, body shots, and waking up behind a dumpster. By that time the wife and I were both home and in our pajamas.

If you'd like to see a few pics from the afternoon/evening check out the Clean Laffs Facebook page.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Golfer Rory McIlroy said there should be a limit to how much alcohol fans can buy at events because they're getting too rowdy. And also, he's tired of hearing drunk people try to say 'Rory McIlroy.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***

"Actress Cynthia Nixon today announced her bid to run for New York governor, and she debuted her campaign slogan, 'Nixon 2018: No Relation.'" -Seth Meyers

***

"In financial news, billionaire investor Warren Buffett is facing some criticism after saying in a recent interview, 'You will not be way happier if you double your net worth.' Spoken like someone who has $90 billion. But he is partially right. Happiness does not come from net worth. It comes from the things you can BUY because of your net worth." -James Corden

***

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"

The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things."

The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I laid the law down firmly with my husband. I told him, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'"

The first woman asked, "Did it help?"

Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."

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