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THE DAILY GROANER - March 21, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Here's a typical conversation I had with my son Sean. This happened yesterday morning. Oh, and he's almost 3 years old.

Okay, here we go...

Me: Sean. What would you like for breakfast?

Sean: Hot Dogs!

Me: No. Hot Dogs are not breakfast food. How about waffles?

Sean: No. I want jelly beans.

Me: What?! Jelly Beans? Are you outta your mind? Try again.

Sean: Cereal!

Me: Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. What kind of cereal?

Sean: Jelly bean cereal!

Me: There's no such thing. How about Cheerios?

Sean: No. I want lunch!

Me: What do you mean you want lunch? It's breakfast time! And during this particular mealtime we eat breakfast food. So...what would you like to eat for breakfast?

Sean: Waffles!

Me: Okay. Two waffles coming up! Would you like syrup?

Sean: Yes, please.

Me: How about some blueberries?

Sean: I want some PEZ!

Now, I'm going to stop there out of consideration for you, the audience, because it can go on and on like this until almost lunchtime; and then the conversation really starts to tear at the fabric of time and space causing you to question all that you know as well as your sanity.

Just another day being a dad.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How does a lumberjack start his computer?

A: By Logging On!

Q: What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?

A: Board!

*-- The Toughest Time of My Life --*

I had the toughest time of my life.

First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis.

Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.

Then they gave me hypodermics.

Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.

These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.

I completely lost my memory for a while.

I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.

I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had."

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why do surgeons wear facemasks?

A: So if they make a mistake, no one will know who did it.

Q: How do you kill a circus troupe?

A: Go for the juggler.


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