Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

Monday, March 19, 2018

Good morning crew,

Tomorrow is a big day. It's the vernal equinox; the first day of spring!

It's not that I don't find any charm or beauty in the winter months, but I start counting the days until spring as early as December.

For me, a little snow and ice goes a long way.

Laugh it up,


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

"Toys R Us is going out of business. I’ll always remember Toys R Us as the store where my children had a complete and total meltdown each and every time we went there. I guess people don’t enjoy that anymore." -Jimmy Kimmel


"It's spring break! Just remember, the partying lasts a week, but the photos will cost you jobs forever." -Jimmy Fallon


"After residents in Birmingham complained about the terrible smell, New York City has agreed to stop sending railcars full of the city's excess sewage to a landfill in Alabama. Yeah, train cars filled with human waste and an unbearable smell--or, as that's called in New York, the subway." -James Corden


While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember, run to Daddy first, then the dog."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

"Did you give the prisoner the third degree?" the police sergeant asked the detective.

"Yeah, we browbeat him pretty good," nodded the other. "Asked him every question we could think of."

"And did you get a confession?" asked the sergeant.

"Not exactly," explained the officer. "All he'd say was, 'Yes dear,' and doze off."