Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Good morning crew,

In case you didn't notice, today is Pi Day. That is; March 14th, or 3/14. For those of you who got a C in math, like I did, 3.14 are the first 3 digits of Pi, or the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.

Some people will make sure to eat a piece of pie, or have a pizza (pie) to celebrate Pi Day.

Not a terribly exciting holiday, but I have heard worse excuses to have a couple beers on a Wednesday.

That's probably a healthier alternative to pie anyway.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A town in Israel is building an amusement park that some are calling 'the Jewish Disneyland.' The Jewish Disneyland still has Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, except Doc is the chief of cardiology at Cedars-Sinai." -Conan O'Brien

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"Researchers just unveiled a robot that can play Scrabble. It's pretty realistic. It even gets bored halfway through and stops playing." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A recent study suggests that it is harder to concentrate in the winter. Said researchers, 'For example, this study was supposed to be about traffic accidents.'" -Seth Meyers

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Marriage Definitions

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Caller: 'Hi, can you connect me with Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of your user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'