Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
A woman is suing a Florida restaurant for $1.5 million, alleging she suffered injuries as a result of an encounter with a drag performer's fake breasts.
Neldin Molina's lawsuit against the Hamburger Mary's eatery in Tampa states she was dining with friends and family members at the eatery to celebrate a friend's birthday.
The lawsuit alleges she was unaware of the drag show until it began during her meal and she watched for a short time before turning her back to the stage to eat and socialize with her fellow diners.
The suit claims a performer identified as Amanda D'Hod pointed at Molina when she turned around again and began to walk toward her table. Molina alleges she turned her back to the performer to signal she did not want to draw attention to herself, but the drag queen allegedly grabbed her by the head and "wiggled her breast against the Plaintiff's face and head."
The performer then "violently" pounded Molina's face against the fake breast "up to nine times."
That's the risk you run when you go to those kinds of places.
Molina said she felt an immediate headache and neck pain after the encounter and later visited the emergency room at Memorial Hospital of Tampa for "excruciating cervical pain and uncontrollable headaches." Which immediately makes me wonder what was in that fake breast; ball bearings?
So the lesson here seems to be; never turn your back on a cross-dressing performer. They can smell fear.
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Click http://gopherarchives.gophercentral.com
Questions? Comments? Email: email@example.com
*----- Bobcat Seized in Illinois Gun Raid -----*
Like Dante said in the movie 'Grandma's Boy', 'Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody f**ks with a lion.' Police in Orland Park, IL said Lynxie the bobcat was found in a small office at a shuttered storefront where they seized a cache of guns and arrested the exotic animal's owner, Philip Giese, on a charge of unlawful possession of firearms by a felon and illegal possession of a wild animal. The Illinois Department of Natural Resources said the bobcat, which cannot be released back into the wild due to its front paws being declawed, is being kept at an undisclosed approved facility while the investigation is ongoing. Tammy Thies, founder and president of the Wildcat Sanctuary in Sandstone, Minn., said her facility, as well as similar rescue groups, are willing to take Lynxie in once a judge determines it is time to find the animal a permanent home. Thies said it isn't uncommon for exotic animals seized in similar investigations to be kept in "witness protection." She said most bobcats kept as pets end up homeless when they become adults.
*- Till Death Do We Part Doesn't Need Any Help -*
What was supposed to be the happiest day of her life turned into a nightmare for a bride in Arizona, and those people she injured. Police did not say why 32-year-old Amber Young, who was wearing her wedding gown, chose to drive herself to her own wedding. On her way to the wedding, Young lost control of her car and caused a three-vehicle crash on her way to her wedding. Officers who arrived at the scene discovered that Young was intoxicated. She was arrested and on a DUI charge. Scott posted a photo on Twitter, showing the blonde-haired bride being placed in the squad car with her arms behind her back in handcuffs. The arresting officer posted: "Don't drive impaired, till death do we part doesn't need any help."
*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
Lewis, i have driven on I 75 and let me tell you its not a fun road to be on, and trucks are not allowed in the left lane of the 3 lane highway. a very busy hwy. -Richard
[Please tell me you're not a bean truck driver.]
Axe should work that explosion into one of their commercials.
[I bet our readers could come up with some good tag lines.]
Lewis, baked beans are no good without a good ketchup base with maple syrup, brown sugar, and maybe a little onion and bacon. Plus, it's best to use navy beans, not green beans.
[Right you are, but personally I think my story was funnier than your recipe.]
*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*