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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Neither snow nor rain nor heat, but maybe some naked junk might keep this courier from the swift completion of her appointed rounds.

Residents of a Florida resort said they are having problems with a substitute mail carrier who refuses to deliver their packages -- because they're nudists.

Hudson residents living at the Eden RV Resort and City Retreat, a clothing-optional compound that includes an RV park as well as small family homes, said their normal U.S. Postal Service mail carrier has no problem delivering packages inside the gates, but recently they have been having trouble with a substitute.

Residents said a post office manager told them the mail carrier isn't required to enter the community if nudity offends her.

"It offends me that she does not do her job because if she can't do her job, then she shouldn't be having this job," 10-year resort resident Eileen Hudak said.

Residents said mail delivered to boxes outside the gate is arriving normally, but the carrier has not been bringing packages.

"She marks it undeliverable, whether it fits in the box or it doesn't, so we don't get the mail that day. And sometimes the mail is important. Like with our neighbor, medication sometimes. You can't wait until Monday or Tuesday to go get it," Hudak said.

The residents said their normal mail carrier delivers packages to their doors, but they would be satisfied if the substitute would simply drop them off at the main office.

Enola Rice, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Postal Service, said the carrier is doing nothing wrong. Rice sent this statement: "In accordance with postal regulations, all mail is left in the appropriate boxes," Rice said. "Packages are left in the large parcel lockers, which, like the mailboxes, are located just outside the entrance to the community. Notices are left for mail requiring signature and items that do not fit in the lockers."

She said the carrier is not required to enter the community.

"Carriers are not required to deliver beyond the centralized delivery units," Rice said. "We can assure all customers that mail and packages are being delivered according to national centralized delivery requirements. The Postal Service appreciates its customers and strives to provide the best possible service at all times."

Mail carriers have refused to deliver to locations in the past for other unusual reasons, including territorial turkeys in Ohio, fear of bedbugs at a Detroit apartment building and multiple homes in Lubbock, Texas, where postal workers determined pets to be too aggressive.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com




*---- Give Him a Foot And He'll Take a Mile ----*

A man told police that he managed to kiss the feet of many women who had no idea he was doing this for his own sexual pleasure. The Polk County Sheriff's Office arrested 23-year-old Reginald Cruz after he told detectives he had been approaching women since he was 6-years-old, asking to touch their feet. According to the arrest report, Cruz said that he has "approached hundreds of females, requesting to touch or massage their feet using stories such as trying to earn a Boy Scout community service badge." As he grew older, Cruz said that he changed his story and pretended to be a college student. He told women that he was "conducting medical research to gain their respect." Cruz told detectives that after massaging their feet, he would determine if they trusted him enough for him to kiss their feet or suck their toes as he derived sexual pleasure from the activity. Cruz was charged with lewd and lascivious conduct on a person less than 18-years of age, obtaining property by fraud, two counts of battery, and one count of attempted battery.

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*--------------- A Sale Is A Sale ---------------*

An extremely foolish drug dealer waved a bag of painkillers in front of police officers who were on-duty and in uniform in an attempt to sell them drugs, according to police in Louisiana. Officers were conducting an investigation at a residence when the suspect approached. There were several officers present and some were standing outside the residence in uniform. Two officers noticed a Cadillac driving towards them and saw it slow down and begin to turn around in the middle of the street. While they were watching, they saw the driver hold up a plastic bag in his hand. The officers were surprised as this appeared to be an indication that the driver was advertising drugs for sale while they were in uniform and easily visible. The officers approached the vehicle while the driver patiently waited, and as officers neared the car, the driver became noticeably surprised. The driver made a half-hearted attempt to conceal the plastic bag. However, he soon turned it over to the officers. The package contained hydrocodone pills, which the suspect was selling. The driver, identified as 47-year-old Ageron Calhoun, was charged with possession with intent to distribute. During the booking process, Calhoun expressed regret at not identifying the officers more quickly.

[That's what drugs'll do to ya.]




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Glad to hear you are not giving up your email column. Not everyone is on Facebook. I've never been on Facebook and never will. I enjoy your column but if Facebook was the only way to access it, I would do without.


Lewis, resorting to name-calling over civil discourse IS really stupid. Beware your newsletter foray into the Facebook platform as you may find the commenting will taint your bizarre reputation.


giving in to facebook? please keep the email version going - have enjoyed your column for years
[It's nice to know I still have such faithful fans. Don't worry, Facebook is just another platform. Bizarre News isn't going anywhere.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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