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February 28, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsFor being the shortest month of the year it sure flew on by.

March starts tomorrow. I'm not ready. Are you ready? I thought so.

Well, let's get ready for March together with some jokes and some hilarious quotes taken from performance evaluations. They are a hoot!

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- What Would You Get? --*

A grandfather couldn't decide which jacket to buy for his granddaughter, so he asked the young salesman.

"If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend," the grandfather asked, "what would you get?"

"A bulletproof one," the salesman said. "I'm married."
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* Quotes Taken from "Actual" Federal Employee Performance Evaluations *

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is not really so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
Learn more about RevenueStripe...

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A: A tuba toothpaste.

Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?

A: Pencil-vania.