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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Good morning crew,

Unfortunately it's going to be a boring Valentine's Day. I'm working all day and the wife has her dance class tonight. I might see her for a few minutes when she gets home, if I'm not already in bed.

Maybe I'll let the dog join me for a nice, candle-lit dinner of a cold ham sandwich, potato chips and beer. She actually has pretty good table manners, which you can see by checking out the Clean Laffs on Facebook page (yes, that's Mini enjoying her last birthday, what a life).

It's either that or I join the dog on the kitchen floor. I have had worse dates...

Laugh it up,


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"A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it's a good idea to get engaged on Valentine's Day. The other 60 percent were men." -Conan O'Brien


"On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg." -Jimmy Kimmel


"The trend this year is couples saying they don't need to get each other anything for Valentine's Day, because they love each other EVERY day. I think that's sweet, but to all the guys out there watching, I just want to say it's a trap!" -Jimmy Fallon


There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there's me. One day I couldn't stand it any longer. "Why don't you ever bring me flowers?" I asked.

"What's the point?" my husband said. "They die after about a week."

"So could you," I shot back, "but I still like having you around."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had."

The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Then she said, "I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity."

The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders.

The elderly woman then stated," I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine."

This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room his wife asked, "Was it something I said, where are you going?"

The old man looked at her and replied, "I'm going to the bathroom to get my teeth!"