Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Good morning crew,

Last weekend we had promotion testing at the taekwondo school. And like with most testings, it was mostly little kids, some as young as four and five.

So during a break in testing I went to use the bathroom only to find one of the little kids had peed not only all over the toilet seat, but a generous area of the floor around the toilet. I mean, this kid must have been holding it since six that morning. At least I hope it was a little kid.

Well, I couldn't leave it for some parent to find, plus, I couldn't get within two feet of the commode to use it myself. Not without a pair of rubbers, anyway. So, it was off to the utility closet.

Standing there with a spray bottle of disinfectant in one hand and a mop in the other, I had a little moment. When I was in college this is NOT where I pictured myself. Was this really the peak of my potential? Is this as far as I go?

That's when it struck me; there is something I can do for myself. A way for me to take control of my own future.

I'm going to start my own janitorial service.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Dozens of Eagles fans were seen stage-diving off the awning of the Philadelphia Ritz-Carlton after last night's Super Bowl win. But don't worry, they died." -Seth Meyers

***
"The New England Patriots were beaten by the Philadelphia Eagles 41-33. Eagles fans started fires and punched police horses, then they sat down to watch the Super Bowl." -Conan O'Brien

***
"As is always the case, there's a lot of focus on the commercials at the Super Bowl. I learned a lot from the commercials yesterday. For instance, I had no idea Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream to sell light duty trucks." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take:

- Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag
- Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves
- 24 hours supply of food and drink
- De-icer
- 5 lbs of rock salt
- flashlight with spare batteries
- Road flares and reflective triangles
- Tow rope
- 5 gallon gas can
- First aid kit
- Jump cables

I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon.

During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Asking questions during children's sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him And the little boy said, "I'm not sure, but I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."