Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Good morning crew,

We had a company bowling night last night. Call it a late holiday party. Pretty much everybody was there. Even me. I got a perfect score, too. A zero. I had to teach at the taekwondo school and got there late. Fortunately that spared me the nail fungus that comes with sticking my fingers in strange holes. But I did get to enjoy a couple of the fine selection of beers offered by the Bowl-a-Rama's tap room while watching my bosses and fellow employees pull their hamstrings and groin muscles while throwing a series of gutter balls.

Well worth the time for the entertainment value alone.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"In Florida, a 7-year-old boy was arrested for punching his teacher. A 7-year-old boy--or as they call that in Florida, a prodigy." -Conan O'Brien

***
"I saw that 83-year-old Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch was at the Grammys last night. Midway through, he turned to the person next to him and said, 'This is the craziest State of the Union I've ever been to.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A matador in Spain is under investigation after a video surfaced of him bullfighting while holding his 5-month-old baby girl in his arms. But to be fair, it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day." -Seth Meyers

***
A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone.

Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000. He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips. Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.

He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn't run out. So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel room.

"How did you do?" asked the bride.

The groom shrugged and said, "I lost two dollars."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.

"And what will your third wish be?"

The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"

"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."

"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to know what's going on inside their heads."

"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!"