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January 31, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsIt seems like just about everyone has a cold. Well, it is Cold & Flu Season.

I've put on a deep sea diver suit in the hopes of avoiding the illnesses that are surrounding me like sharks in the open ocean.

Suddenly, I feel dizzy. I wonder how much air is in this thiing ggngggggggg

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?

A: You take me for grunted.


Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?

A: A giraffic jam.
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*-- Stuff My Doc Says --*

Do you think you have a horrible doctor? Check out some of the worst advice, opinions, & diagnoses ever uttered by a medical professional.

1. "Hey! I don't go to your house and bleed all over your stuff!"

2. "Well, at least you have your health... (looking at the patient's chart) WHOOPS! I spoke too soon."

3. "How are stupid dogs and dumb doctors alike? Neither one can heel! Which reminds me, there's nothing we can do for you."

4. "Miss, you'll need to put this medicated cream on your chest. Here, I'll give you a hand with that."

5. "I could give you something for that, but I'm not supposed to have sex with my patients."

6. "Hey, what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. Okay, you can take that out of your mouth now."

7. "I am so tired of having to see that coroner guy."

8. "I know what will make us feel better... a sponge bath."

9. "Oh, that looks like a sprained ankle to me. I won't know for sure until you get totally naked."

10. "Oh, you're a woman!"
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*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

A: When they had lots of sleepless knights!


Q: Why are robots never afraid?

A: Because they have nerves of steel.

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