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Sunday, January 28, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

One of the girls in the office was complaining about the temperature in her bedroom.

"I keep the downstairs at 65," she was whining, "but the bedroom upstairs still gets up to almost 80. I just can't sleep when it's that hot. I don't know what to do."

"Do what I do," I interjected. "Whenever it gets too hot in my bedroom I just try to have sex with my wife. It always chills things right up."



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"Mommy, how can you live without eating?"

"What are you talking about, sweetheart? I eat every day."

"I heard Daddy tell the neighbor that you haven't swallowed since college."

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, and drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

"Well," I said, "I think my dick tastes funny..."

"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores."

[Hitler rubs his chin] "So, mine less."

[A grammar Nazi bursts in] "Mine fewer!"

[Hitler looks up] "Yes?"

One day Steve's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting to her.

She hid the magazine until his father got home.

When Steve's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in your son's closet."

He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.

After an uncomfortable minute of silence she finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I DON'T think you should spank him."