January 08, 2018
Good Morning Groanies,
It's so cold. I'm typing this just to keep my hands and fingers moving so they don't freeze.
Why does it have to be so cold? What did I do to have to do a dead-on impression of a popsicle? Why do I have to wear three pairs of gloves, socks, and gloves, so my extremities don't freeze?
I know it's winter, but COME ON! I'm getting brain freeze when I go out to get the mail! Turn up the thermostat a few degrees Mother Nature. Global Warming, my frozen fanny!
I'm so cold that my hemorrhoids have become Polaroids!
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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your Mom.
Q: How do you know when you're really ugly?
A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
*-- Strange Eating Habit --*
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits. "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
"Eventually," said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!"
*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
A: They're always bitter.
Q: Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
A: Because she couldn't control her pupils!