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Sunday, December 24, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The last few years I have been having growing reservations about Christmas. And I think I have finally figured out why. Christmas is nothing more than a big propaganda machine for Communism.

Before you get all offended, let me explain.

First, Santa Claus represents the state, fat and bloated with corruption and graft. The elves, small, oppressed and poor, and all wearing uniforms, work slavishly for him with no apparent personal benefits. You never see one of Santa's elves with personal property, do you?

Not only that, but Comrade Klaus even looks like Karl Marx, author of the Communist Manifesto and Das Kapital and universally considered the father of communism.

A big, fat old man with thick eyebrows and a bushy white beard.

Plus, he's always dressed in red. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Then, once a year, the Claus/Marx persona "redistributes the wealth" to poor little proletariat boys and girls in a single night of global pacification.

If that isn't evidence enough take a look at some of the supporting propaganda, Rudolph the "Red" Nosed Reindeer, for example.

In the opening stanzas of the song, Rudolph is identified as being unique among his peers. He is an individual, and this individuality represents individual achievement.

But his is quickly ostracized by his peers for being different.

It isn't until he gets a nod from the state in the person of the Claus/Marx character that the other reindeer accept him...or more specifically...are too afraid to reject him anymore.

Then, at the end of the song, all of the reindeer are harnessed to the sleigh (production) which supports a fat Santa (the state) in order to provide momentum to his domination of wealth.

How do you like your precious holiday now?



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My wife has this red 'Christmas' lingerie with faux fur around the neck and cuffs and it comes with a little Santa hat.

"I hate this outfit," I said when she walked into the room.

She replied, "Then why are you wearing it?"

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil

"A Salvation Army bell ringer in Virginia was injured when an 87-year-old man accidentally ran him over. He was taken to the hospital once the applause died down." -Seth Meyers

Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was "just up ahead."

One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight."