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MOUTHPIECE - November 28, 2017

Good Afternoon,


I may not be much of a conversationalist, but I know a good joke when I hear it. So, here's a joke that I heard, and I thought it was a good one, good enough to share.

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Well, that's true," said the lifeguard, "but from the diving board!?!?"

Good joke, eh? Now, enjoy Mouthpiece and all of its enjoyableness and stuff. You see, I stink at conversing.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
--Mahatma Gandhi

"I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell-you see, I have friends in both places."
--Mark Twain

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
--Sir Winston Churchill



[m] What's On the Web?

15 Gifs That You Can Stare At Forever

Clear your schedule and prepare to stare. These 15 Gifs may calm you, hypnotize you, and/or possibly freak... you... out!

Visit: 15 Gifs That You Can Stare At Forever


24 Facts That Will Ruin Your Childhood

Someone had to ruin your childhood, but don't worry it's not me, it's the hilarious Cracked.com. I'm just the messenger. You knew it was going to happen sooner than later.

Visit: 24 Facts That Will Ruin Your Childhood



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Bizarre December Holidays --*

December 1 is National Pie Day and Eat A Red Apple Day
December 2 is National Fritters Day
December 3 is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day
December 4 is Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 5 is National Sacher Torte Day
December 6 is National Gazpacho Day and Mitten Tree Day
December 7 is National Cotton Candy Day
December 8 is Take It In The Ear Day
December 9 is National Pastry Day
December 10 is Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales
December 11 is National Noodle Ring Day
December 12 is National Ding-A-Ling Day
December 13 is Ice Cream and Violins Day
December 14 is National Bouillabaisse Day
December 15 is National Lemon Cupcake Day
December 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
December 17 is Underdog Day and National Maple Syrup Day
December 18 is National Roast Suckling Pig Day
December 19 is Oatmeal Muffin Day
December 20 is Games Day
December 21 is Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger Day
December 22 is National Date-Nut Bread Day
December 23 is Roots Day
December 24 is National Egg Nog Day
December 25 is National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is National Whiners Day
December 27 is National Fruitcake Day
December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 29 is Pepper Pot Day
December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
December 31 is Unlucky Day

***

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