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Monday, November 27, 2017

Good morning crew,

Is it Monday? Did I make it? Whew! What with the holiday, the four day weekend, plus the wife was away from home and left me home alone with that vicious little dog of hers and 200 pounds of laundry, I wasn't sure I would survive to see another week.

Well, it was nothing that a little ingenuity, determination and alcohol couldn't handle.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A piece of wedding cake from Donald and Melania Trump's wedding is currently up for auction. The 12-year-old piece of cake is being marketed as a rare collector's item. This piece of cake is expected to go for over $1,000. What a rip-off. If I want to eat a 12-year-old piece of cake, I'll go to the liquor store and buy some Twinkies like a normal person." -James Corden

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"I saw that one hundred years ago this month, Albert Einstein presented his theory of General Relativity, which explains how gravity works. And it also marks the last time someone actually meant it when they said, 'Way to go, Einstein.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Nestle is recalling its Hot Pockets Four Cheese Pizza Snack Bites due to misbranding. They'll be re-released with the corrected name, Scalding Hot Yet Somehow Still Frozen in the Middle Pockets." -Seth Meyers

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Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey.

I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?"

Not thinking clearly I answered, "With or without clothes?"

"Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

In a small business office they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words.

Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, "My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N."

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