Friday, November 24, 2017
Good morning crew,
Like most of the rest of America I'm home today recovering from Thanksgiving. If everything goes according to plan I will not have to step foot out of the house or even put on pants until Sunday afternoon at the earliest.
I did think about going out for Black Friday. When I woke up to turn my alarm off this morning I thought, 'there are a lot of crazy people out there right now fighting angry, hung over crowds in near-freezing weather in order to shop. Boy am I glad I'm not one of them.'
Laugh it up,
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"A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Pringles has launched several new potato chip flavors including turkey, stuffing, mashed potato, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie. Or as single dads call it, 'Thanksgiving!'" -Seth Meyers
"There is a new website that allows parents to rent toys instead of buying them for Christmas. The website is perfect for parents who aren't sure that they love their child." -Conan O'Brien
My sister and I were out on the town one night when we ran into a man I knew. "You're sisters?" he asked incredulously. "You look nothing alike.
Pointing to her nose and my chin, my sister said, "Different plastic surgeons."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."
She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference."