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Friday, November 17, 2017

Good morning crew,

Hey! Anisa (my boss) and Zack are about to do their yearly PulseTV Gift Guide LIVE on YouTube.

You might get a few good gift ideas, and even if you don't it should be entertaining.

It's about to start at 11 a.m. (CST) so click the link and check it out. It's live!

PulseTV Video Gift Guide 2017

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"In the world of healthcare, the FDA has approved the first pill with a digital sensor that signals doctors when patients have taken their medicine. The doctors say they invented the pill to make sure that their patients are taking their medication. I still think it would be more effective if they went with my plan of making all pills taste like Cool Ranch Doritos." -James Corden

***

"A Florida man is refusing to give up his 'emotional support squirrel' even though his condo association is threatening to evict him. Of course it's stressful times like these when the comforting embrace of a squirrel helps the most." -Seth Meyers

***

"A federal court just ruled that sharing your Netflix password is now a federal crime. So if you've been looking for a way to send your parents to prison, here's your chance." -Jimmy Fallon

***

A young college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah! So sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."

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