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Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Good morning crew,

It's finally here. I've reached 'that age'. I spent the entire day yesterday wearing my underpants backwards. I didn't even notice until I was getting ready for bed last night.

And I was stone cold sober too.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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We found a spider in the house and my girlfriend told me to take it out instead of killing it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.

***

When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple 'Calm down, Honey' in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot more upset.

***

"I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house." --Tom Hertz

***

Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?"

The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."

"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?"

"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear."

"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"

"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars."

"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"

"Well, this week...nothing!"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Even though my Ecuadoran son-in-law is fluent in English, he translates some figures of speech too literally. When I commented that he and my daughter are about the same age, but she looks much younger, he agreed.

"Yes," he said. "A lot of people think I stole the crib."

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