Sunday, November 5, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Just a friendly reminder to everybody, today you are supposed to 'fall' back one hour now that Daylight Saving Time is over. Actually, I think it was last night at midnight, but it's all the same since you probably slept your extra hour away.

This morning I went into my son's room and found him rubbing his little pecker with black shoe polish.

I said to him, "You idiot! I told you to turn your clock back!

Misunderstoodly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Scientists have begun testing the possibility of using sperm to deliver life-saving drugs to specific parts of the female body. But first, they're going to have guys test this out as a pick-up line." -Conan O'Brien



A one dollar bill met a 50 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."

The fifty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff.

How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old thing... strip club, strip club, church."



Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally grabbed a bottle of Liquid Paper. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.




Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't," he replied.