Friday, October 27, 2017

Good morning crew,

Promotion testing at the taekwondo school tomorrow, and then tomorrow night the wife is talking about going to a Halloween party. I have been slowly trying to talk her out of it. Not that I have a problem sitting around drinking, but I'm getting a little long in the tooth for dressing up like an idiot.

If I want to make an idiot out of myself I don't need a costume to do it. About six beers is usually enough.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"I read about a woman in Pennsylvania who celebrated her 94th birthday by jumping out of a plane. She thought she was just walking into the bathroom - but still, good for her to experience that!" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"There is a major scandal in the world of the Iditarod. It turns out some of the dogs in the race are on drugs. Dogs belonging to the four-time musher tested positive for a banned substance. These are powerful drugs. Opioids. These are the same drugs Santa uses to make his reindeer fly." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"Pope Francis said that married people should have more kids. When asked for comment, married people said the Pope should have a kid and then get back to us." -Conan O'Brien

***
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her.

She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!"

"Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested.

"Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?"

"Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.

"I just don't think I can do that to my wife."

"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried it so many times and it's never worked."