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Monday, October 16, 2017

Good morning crew,

Finally, a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend. Friday night the wife and I went out for a bite to eat and went to bed early, Saturday the wife went out with her girlfriends while I stayed home and did laundry, and Sunday we had to go around collecting on gambling debts.

True story. The wife gets into some odd adventures when I'm not there to chaperone.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Amazon just announced that teens can now shop on their parents' accounts, but the order will only go through if Mom and Dad approve it. Or if they click the button that says, 'Mom and Dad approve it.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"A company has come out with a line of medical marijuana dog treats. Finally a medicine that will help my dog lie on the couch all day." -Seth Meyers

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"According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level." -Conan O'Brien

***

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.

"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Tom.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly."

"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'".

"Yeah," said Eric, "That's what I did, except I said, 'Of course I DO....'"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.

"Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

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