October 11, 2017
Good Morning Groanies,
Whenever someone calls you on the phone and then asks you what you're doing most often the answer is "Nothing". Why is that? Come on now, we are all guilty of this.
Why don't we just tell the truth? Say that we're just dancing to ABBA's Greatest Hits. Say that we're currently going to the bathroom. Say that we're out of breath because you were just wrestling your neighbors dog naked. You're naked in that senerio, and so is the dog, but not me. What's wrong with a little honesty?
If you aren't one for revealing the activity that you were engaged in when the phone rang, then just say, "You want to know what I'm doing? I'm talking to you, you weirdo!" That's what I do.
Just remember, whenever you call someone you have a good chance that they may be holding a conversation with you in the buff...unless it's grandma...then it's a guarantee.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
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*-- What's That Smell? --*
Mama Mole, Papa Mole, and Baby Mole all live in a little hole. One morning Papa Mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air, and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
Then Mama Mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air, and says, "Yum! I smell strawberry jam!"
Then Baby Mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but he can't because Mama and Papa Mole are both in the way.
He whines, "Jeez, all I can smell is molasses!"
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*-- Bear Left --*
Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read, "BEAR LEFT". So they went home.
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*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What kind of underwear do reporters wear?
A: News briefs.
Q: What did the one penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
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