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Monday, October 2, 2017

Good morning crew,

Well, it was quite a weekend. I packed in a lot of relaxation. To tell you the truth I'm glad to be back at work so I can rest up a bit.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Today, NASA announced that it has finally discovered water on Mars. When they heard, Americans were like, 'Eh, tell us when they discover beer.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"A woman in Italy recently married herself in a ceremony that included a three-layer wedding cake, bridesmaids, and 70 guests. Did I say guests? I meant cats. 70 cats." -Seth Meyers

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"The other day in Australia, a wedding took place inside a Costco. Because it was Costco, the groom came home with 12 brides." -Conan O'Brien

***

I had given our daughter, who was 15 at the time, a driver's manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her drivers permit.

"Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book."

"You do?" I returned.

"Yep," she said, very smugly.

I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?"

"One," she replied.

"What?" I asked.

"One?!" She repeated her answer and then because of the confused look on my face, she added, "You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

While trying to explain to our six-year-old daughter how much technology had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, "How big was the mouse?"

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