Monday, September 25, 2017

Good morning crew,

So, Oktoberfest went off pretty much as expected. A small but congenial group ended up going and we drank beer, ate schnitzel sandwiches, danced a very sloppy polka to a few songs, and generally made a nuisance of ourselves to our immediate neighbors. It was a lot of fun.

But an odd character trait of the wife's started to emerge after a couple beers. She likes to accumulate things. For example; they were serving the delicious Hofbrau Oktoberfest beer in very typical 16 oz plastic cups, the kind they use at every single outdoor fest when they don't want drunks throwing around glassware. But these plastic cups were printed with Hofbrau's famous 'HB' logo and the name Munchen.

For some reason the wife became obsessed with them. She wouldn't let anybody throw any of them away! She got the idea in her head that she was going to take them home and wash them so she could use them the next time we have a party.

At one point she almost got into a physical altercation with one of the servers who tried to clear the stack of empty cups from our table while the wife wasn't looking. After that she always kept her arm around them and wouldn't leave the table to use the bathroom without putting someone in charge of watching them.

Another thing she started collecting was miniature Feigling bottles. Feigling is a brand of naturally-flavored fig liquor made in Germany, and at the fest you can buy it in little 20 ml 'mini' bottles. The cutest thing you ever saw. The wife fell in love with them, mostly because you can't seem to find the 20 ml minis anyplace expect the fest. I've looked.

So she started collecting those. I'm not sure what she was planning on doing with them, but when I realized she had a pocketful of empty Feigling bottles I put my foot down and told her she had to throw them away. I had to drive home at the end of the night and the last thing I needed was a dozen or so open alcohol containers in the vehicle.

By that time her hands were getting pretty full. We had both gotten a commemorative beer stein (which automatically entered us into a drawing for a free trip to Germany!), and she had too many things to juggle.

But, all's well that ends well. Instead of pushing our luck and staying late (and possibly being forced to sleep in the truck), we decided to leave (relatively) early, and after a brief stop at the restaurant which was catering the fest, which just so happened to be on the way home, in order to congratulate the staff in person for an excellent evening, we all made our way home safely and soundly.

The next morning, of course, we didn't feel so optimistic.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Microsoft founder Bill Gates gave a speech yesterday. And in that speech, he apologized for making the ctrl-alt-delete function on computers so complicated. But then he added, I mean, I'm as sorry as I can be about something that made me $85 billion." -James Corden

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"I read that Taco Bell will start serving alcohol at some locations. So the next time you think that YOU'RE having a bad day, imagine the guy who gets cut off by the cashier at Taco Bell." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Eighty years ago today, J. R. R. Tolkien's book 'The Hobbit' was released. To give you an idea what 80 years feels like, watch the movie." -Seth Meyers

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Suspecting he had a serious medical condition, I nagged my husband until he agreed to see a doctor. Once there, he was handed a mountain of forms to fill out.

Next to "Reason for visit?" he wrote, "My wife made me."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting the priest turned to Chris and told him, "Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist."

Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked what was wrong. "I don't understand," he said. "How can we have the ceremony without me?"