Friday, September 22, 2017

Good morning crew,

Today is the first official day of fall, and the wife and I are celebrating the change of seasons by hitting one of the more authentic Oktoberfests in the greater Chicagoland area tomorrow.

A good rule of thumb is; if you're at an Oktoberfest and they are serving chili dogs, cheeseburgers and Bud Lite while the band is playing Def Leppard and Bon Jovi covers, you're not at a good Oktoberfest.

Tomorrow's event is being catered by the best German restaurant on the west side and they are serving original Hofbrau Octoberfest Bier and Weihenstephan Hefe Weiss. That's the stuff that makes your toes tingle.

Entertainment is being provided by the appropriately named 'Alpine Thunder' and they take the most important responsibility of an Oktoberfest band very seriously, that is; playing 'Ein Prosit' every ten minutes, which is the signal for the entire beer hall to get up and stand on their benches and drain their steins.

The wife and I were at this fest a couple of years ago, so we know what we're getting into. If you like you can read about that little adventure here...

A loooong night at Oktoberfest.

I'll fill you in on any adventures that I can remember next week.

Prost!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Last night, Toys R Us officially filed for bankruptcy after falling $5 billion in debt. I guess they tried to pay it off, but the bank said, 'This is Monopoly money.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"Apple is exploring ways to turn Siri into people's personal therapist. In fact, this morning when I asked Siri for today's weather she said, 'Stop trying to replace your father.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"An 83-year-old grandfather in California recently pushed a suspected burglar off his roof. Neighbors are calling it shocking while the roofer is calling it the last time he works on that house." -Seth Meyers

***
A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, don't you like your beer cold? Why don't you start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Austria and one in Ireland. We made a vow to each other when they moved away that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers too, and we're drinking together."

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I hope nothing has happened to one of your brothers."

The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Mary and her friend Jill are sitting by themselves in a bar having a drink. Mary says, "Jill, did you notice there are two guys sitting alone at the bar over there?"

"So?" Jill asks.

"Well, we're two women sitting alone over here at a table, and there are two men sitting alone at the bar. What do you think that adds up to?"

Jill shrugs her shoulders, "Four losers?"