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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Horry County police said that they stopped a local town mayor for cutting his mother-in-law's lawn. And riding his lawn mower on a public road while drinking beer.

Police released a video showing John Gardner, the mayor of Aynor, South Carolina, riding a lawnmower with an open can of beer. After police officers stopped him, they ordered Gardner to pour the beer on the ground.

The officers then allowed Gardner to continue, because rank hath its privileges, and reported the incident to the Town of Aynor.

Gardner defended himself, saying that he cut the grass of his mother-in-law's lawn and then went to the gas station to refuel.

Gardner bought the can of beer at the gas station.

Gardner said that he only opened the can of beer after police ordered him to pour the beverage on the ground.

Personally, I think if more politicians took the time to personally help their neighbors, and had a few drinks while doing it, the country would be a better place.


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*------ Woman Charged with Loaded Vagina ------*

A police officer was surprised to find a loaded gun inside a woman's private parts while booking her into jail for possessing drugs, according to police in Illinois. Chenoa police said that they have arrested 20-year-old Amika Witt of Ozark, Missouri, after being accused of hiding heroin and ecstasy in her bra. While being booked into jail, a police officer found a loaded gun in Witt's private parts. According to the police investigation, an officer pulled over a car that was traveling 90 miles per hour on Interstate 55. When police searched the vehicle, they found drugs and weapons.


*---------------- Habeas Corpus ----------------*

Police in Albuquerque said a stolen U-Haul trailer was found abandoned after the thieves apparently discovered its contents: The remains of the victim's father-in-law. The Albuquerque Police Department said a Chevy Trailblazer SUV and the U-Haul it was towing were stolen from outside the Residence Inn. "Inside the U-Haul was a casket, containing the body of the victim's father-in-law," police said in a statement. Police said the couple was driving from Oklahoma to San Juan County to bury the man when they stopped for the night at the hotel. Investigators said the SUV, trailer and its cargo were found abandoned about four hours after the initial report in the parking lot of the Puerto Del Sol Golf Course. Tixier said a hotel employee who witnessed the theft told police a Chevy Silverado pickup truck appeared to be involved in the incident. Police stopped a truck matching the description after a short chase and three suspects were arrested.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Wow, so they were viewing the genitals of a dead guy, big deal. The person that turned them for talking "inappropriately" about a deceased patients genitals needs to "get a life"! It's not like they were doing something illegal that you probably should not be doing at a hospital like taking turns being pleasured by the corpse. -Gary

LEWIS; While we can certainly understand diplomatic immunity for minor offenses such as a traffic ticket 2 things here make no sense. [1] Felonious assault should not be excused by diplomatic immunity and [2] There should be limitations on what the diplomat's family members may use that immunity to get away with. Sorry but "My daddy is a diplomat" should never be a Get out of jail free card. -R.S.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*