September 13, 2017
Good Morning Groanies,
I don't think that the pants I'm currently wearing are not my pants.
I don't know who's pants they are or where they came from. Maybe the wallet in the back pocket could be the very clue which will reveal the true owner of these pants. Hey, that is my wallet! These are my pants!
Sorry, false alarm. That was weird. I haven't been sleeping very well.
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- Ouch, My Arm Hurts! --*
A man went to visit his doctor. "Doctor, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
"Hello Doctor, could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate" the arm says.
The doctor says, "Aha! I see the problem... Your arm is broke!"
*-- Was He Dead? --*
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner.
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the mother skunk say to her teenage skunk?
A: Don't stink and drive.
Q: Why did the farmer feed his sheep iron-enriched vitamins?
A: He wanted to get steel wool.