Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

September 11, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsNow that Jack is in Kindergarten, each night at dinner he tells us about his day. The most interesting part is the names of the kids that he interacts with in class.

There's Carter, John, Mya, Casper, Zack, and one rambunctious boy named Damien. That's right...Damien!

Okay, we've all seen The Omen. If you haven't stop what you're doing and see it. It's a classic horror movie!

We all know that if a boy was born after 1976 you just don't name your kid Damien. I don't care if it's a family name or you like the sound of it, Damien is and will always be synonymous with that creepy devil boy from that flick.

Don't name your kid Damien. Name your kid Dew Drop, Duracell, Stumpy, Cheese Ball, even Chester, but not Damien.

Jack also said that Damien was eating Goat Cheese at lunch so I'm a little concerned. Oh, and he has a pet Rottweiler. Red Flag number two!

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- My Wife, the Chicken --

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
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*-- What's That Smell? --*

I once had a friend who never used toilet paper. One day curiosity got the best of me and I asked him what he uses instead. He replied, "Dryer Sheets".

I then asked him why. He gave a me a look and said, "How else could I get my bum to smell like meadows and raindrops!"
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*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

A: To get to the bottom!

Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

A: It got stuck in a crack!