Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Good morning crew,

Wow, has the temperature been going down around here lately. It's like fall can't wait to get here. So much for the last hurrah of summer.

And so much for our ambitious summer projects. In May the wife printed up a 'to do' list about 12 items long and taped it to the door of the fridge. As of last weekend there was one item crossed off that list, and even that was only half completed.

The problem is the list is focused on the wrong results. If, instead of landscaping, painting and repairs, the list was made up of items like; drinking beer, cooking out and going to fests, we'd be much farther along.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new survey, about half of the world thinks kissing is gross. That half is known as 'married people.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"A man set a new world record after kicking himself in the head 134 times in one minute. He broke the previous record of zero." -Conan O'Brien

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"A winery in France is currently facing a rose shortage. For those of you not familiar with these terms, a winery is a group of women who have run out of rose." -Seth Meyers

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I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried."

"It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence.

"Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?"

When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.

Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, "What do you have in your pocket?"

"Tennis ball," the man said, smiling back.

"Wow!" said the woman looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!"