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Monday, August 21, 2017

Good morning crew,

The solar eclipse is just starting here in my area. But I won't miss it by blinking. The entire event will take almost two hours. And it won't even be a total eclipse. I'm about 300 miles too far north to see that.

Still, we will get an 80-85 percent eclipse here just about 1:20 in the afternoon. But we might not even get to see that if this heavy cloud cover doesn't blow over.

So if you see some guy standing out in front of an office building in the next hour with a pair of welding goggles on, that's probably me.

Just remember what Manfred Mann said, 'Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun, oh, but Mama, that's where the fun is.'

Laugh it up,


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"Twenty-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has been accepted to Oxford University. When she puts her Nobel Prize on the shelf, her roommate will quietly put away all her youth soccer trophies." -Jimmy Fallon


"Some schools are giving kids an Eclipse Day, a day off, because they're worried teachers might not be able to protect their eyes. These kids haven't looked up from their phones since January." -Jimmy Kimmel


"In Washington, D.C., yesterday, vandals spray-painted graffiti on the Lincoln Memorial. Historians are calling it the second worst thing to ever happen to Abraham Lincoln." -Conan O'Brien


Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."

Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!"

"Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?"

"I don't know," Dewey replied; "I couldn't understand a word they were saying."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Needing to look up a phone number while at a friend's house, my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as well have asked for a papyrus scroll.

"A phone book?" asked her friend.

"You know," said my daughter. "A book with numbers in it."

"Oh," said her friend as it dawned on her. "You mean a math book."

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