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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Good morning crew,

Some of the folks in the office were having a discussion about the worst jobs we've ever had. I told about how in high school I worked for a landscaper digging ditches and in college I worked in the cafeteria kitchen scrubbing pots and pans.

Then Rachel, one of our customer service girls, spoke up to describe her worst job.

She assumed a far-off expression as if recalling some distant but poignant pain and told us about her harrowing experiences working in a bagel shop.

"One year I had to help bake the bagels," she confessed. "I had to be IN the store by 5:30 every morning..." She rubbed her temples as the memories flooded back. "It was hell."

Laugh it up,


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"The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that people under the age of 18 should be banned from tanning salons. Parents that take their kids to tanning salons should be banned from parenting." -Jimmy Fallon


"In Virginia someone broke into a man's apartment, cleaned it, and took nothing. Completely cleaned the place. Police are describing the suspect as his mother." -Conan O'Brien


"According to a new report, by 2050, the world's oceans will contain more plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember: There's plenty of trash in the sea." -Seth Meyers


A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"

"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."

"Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

The daughter asks her father, "Dad, there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn't understand. He is sooooo in to his cars and said that 'I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper.'"

Her dad said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your hood and tries to check your oil, I will tighten his lug nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking oil out of his exhaust pipe."

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