GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A Texas police officer staged his own death including a suicide note and an abandoned raft.

The wife of 29-year-old Coleman Martin, an officer with the Austin Police Department, called police after receiving a suicide note from her husband via text message.

The woman told police that her husband went out to "clear his head" before sending the handwritten suicide note.

Detectives checked the couple's bank account and found that Martin had been to Home Depot, where he bought rope and concrete blocks.

He also went to a sporting goods store where he bought a raft.

After putting out a missing person alert, a trooper near Uvalde, Texas, said that around 6:00 p.m., Martin was pulled over. He told the trooper he was heading to Mexico for a vacation.

His vehicle was found at a lake near the Mexican border the next day. The suicide note that he sent his wife, was found in the front seat of the vehicle.

A raft was found on the shore of a lake a few miles away from where Martin's car was parked. Officials searched the lake for Martin's body, but found nothing.

During their investigation, detectives discovered that Martin had a close relationship with another woman who was not his wife.

When they questioned the mistress, she gave detectives proof that Martin was really alive and the whole incident was an attempt to fake his death.

The woman showed investigators an email that Martin sent her after the alleged suicide.

Martin was arrested and is now facing a misdemeanor charge of false alarm or report, police said.

"People make mistakes and people have to answer to their mistakes. The association believes that Cole will have to answer to what he has done," Austin Police Association President Ken Casaday said.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Click http://gopherarchives.gophercentral.com

Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com




*-------------- They'errrr GREAT! --------------*

Police in Louisiana said they arrested a man accused of hiding about 2 pounds of marijuana in cereal boxes to smuggle it across state lines. The St. Tammany Parish Sheriff's Highway Enforcement Unit said a rental car with California plates was pulled over for speeding early Tuesday on Interstate 12. The driver, Donald Roots-Scott Jr., told deputies his license was expired and there was marijuana inside the vehicle. Deputies found about 2 pounds of marijuana hidden inside cereal boxes in the suspect's back seat, the sheriff's office said. Roots-Scott, who allegedly told deputies he was taking the high-grade cannabis to Mississippi for distribution, was arrested on charges of exceeding the maximum speed limit, driving with an expired license and possession of schedule 1 controlled dangerous substance with intent to distribute.

------------------------------------------------------------

*------------ Just Like William Tell ------------*

Doctors and paramedics in Canada, were shocked to see a teenager alive and well despite having a long arrow in his chest and protruding from his back. The Ontario Provincial Police said that they responded to the scene of the 19-year-old man who claimed accidentally shot himself while handling a bow and arrow. Something tells me he's lying. The 2-foot-long arrow went into his chest and part of it protruded from his back. The teen was alert and talkative when police and paramedics arrived. He told the first responders that the shooting was accidental. He was airlifted to hospital, where he was treated and released. Doctors were surprised at the minimal damage caused by the arrow despite being shot all through his body. One paramedic said that in his 20 years of service, he never saw such a case in which the injuries were so minimal. Hastings-Quinte Paramedic Services Chief Doug Socha said that the teen is lucky to be alive.




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

If there are so many drunk, naked assholes in the world, why don't any of them ever run past me handing out cash?


It's not completely impossible to role a criminal history into a successful career. Look at Danny Trejo.


I'm seriously amazed at how easy it appears to be to rob a bank. Apparently all you have to do is SAY you have a gun and they hand you 4 thousand bucks. I'm starting to think it might be worth it!

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

Top Viewed Issues