Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Good morning crew,

I just read an article online which said, basically, that today's teens are a bunch of uncultured ignoramuses. The actual headline is 'Teens losing touch with common cultural and historical references.'

Among 1,200 students surveyed:

43 percent knew the Civil War was fought between 1850 and 1900.

52 percent could identify the theme of the book '1984'.

51 percent knew that the controversy surrounding Senator Joseph McCarthy focused on communism.

In all, students earned a C in history and an F in literature.

That sounds pretty bad, but on the other hand, from a practical sense it's hard to be too critical. I mean, how many people really ever use history, or literature? I challenge anybody who has ever gotten a job because they knew the Civil War started in 1850 and ended in 1900 to write in and let me know!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from social media over the weekend, after users compared the character to their president. Though it seems like it would just be easier to just get their president to put some pants on." -Seth Meyers

***
"A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put it, 'I was afraid of that.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks a little odd, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid.

Husband: Well, don't you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, you saw the baby had pooped his diaper. Then you said: Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here. So I went inside, got a clean one and left the messy one there.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
SOMETIMES...

Sometimes...
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.

But fart just ONE TIME!