MOUTHPIECE - July 18, 2017

Good Afternoon,

So far I've spent the entire summer of 2017 mowing my lawn in the hot sun and hating ever minute of it. I think next summer I'm gonna hire my nephew to cut the grass.

If you're considering outsourcing your lawns needs make sure that you take a gander at the list I have for you today - Signs You Hired The Wrong Kid To Mow Your Lawn.

It will save you time, money, and a phone call to the authorities.

There's other stuff in today's issue, too!

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
--Walt Disney

"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger."
--Arnold Palmer

"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
--Johnny Carson



[m] What's On the Web?
22 Side Characters More Interesting Than The Leads
Cracked.com: When it comes to movies and television, the main characters we're forced to watch are OK, mostly ... we guess. But sometimes, creators develop a side character so compelling, it's criminal that they don't have their own series.

Visit: 22 Side Characters More Interesting Than The Leads


Aqualux Game
"Making good connections - with pipes! Rearrange pipes to deliver goat milk to elf babies or something. The important thing is, there are TONS of pipish levels waiting for you to fix!" It's addictive!

Visit: Aqualux Game



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Signs You Hired The Wrong Kid To Mow Your Lawn --*
1. He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag.

2. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats.

3. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher.

4. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head.

5. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher.

6. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system.

7. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings.

8. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus.

9. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks.

10. No toes.

***
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