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Monday, July 17, 2017

Good morning crew,

I finally got the truck repaired this weekend. As predicted, the mysterious rattle ended up costing me over 600 smackers. That put me in a good mood.

And just to guarantee the weekend was completely wasted, after sitting at the mechanic until 6 p.m. on Saturday (actually, I was sitting in the bar across the street from the mechanic until 6 p.m.), I had to take the vehicle back on Sunday so they could finish the job.

Overall it took them 12 hours to find the problem and do the work. If you divide that by $600 they're still making 50 bucks an hour.

And if you add in the cost of all the beer I drank while waiting for them to finish the job we're talking about some real money.

Laugh it up,


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"According to a new study, 1 in 3 children in the United States have divorced parents. While the other two-thirds are the only reason their parents are staying together." Seth Meyers


"Starbucks is going to start carrying coconut milk. If you want to stay competitive in the coffee business you've got to consistently provide your customers with new ways to make their orders more annoying." -Jimmy Kimmel


"According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it's fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes." -Jimmy Fallon


Our armored car arrived earlier than usual, so my deposit wasn't quite ready. As the young man waited patiently for me to secure the bag, I said, "Sorry to hold you up."

"Delay, delay," he corrected me. "We don't use that other phrase."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

When I was younger I worked in a Mom and Pop convenience store. A woman came into the store and walked straight up to me without even shopping and asked if I had any baby nipples.

I told her, "no ma'am, mine are fully grown."

Luckily she got a kick out of it and I sold her the nipples for her baby bottles.

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