GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com
MOUTHPIECE - July 11, 2017

Good Afternoon,


You know when you ask someone a question, but you preface that question with, "Please, be completely honest," but then you're not?

I think that only works on first graders. And to prove my claim today's 'Bits N Bobs' section features the evidence in the form of a first grade class finishing well known proverbs.

The truth is always funnier.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
--Steven Wright

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."
--Samuel Goldwyn



[m] What's On the Web?

14 Epic Comebacks Stars Gave To Stupid Interview Questions

Don't talk to the press! And if you do, make sure that you have a great comeback at the ready for some of their lame, stupid and embarrassing questions. Here are 14 excellent examples!

Visit: 14 Epic Comebacks Stars Gave To Stupid Interview Questions


SHOE LACING METHODS

How many possible ways are there to lace an average shoe? If you are bored with the standard lace-up style you learned as a kid, this site has over twenty cool techniques for tying your shoes.

Visit: SHOE LACING METHODS



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- First Grader Proverbs --*

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

* Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader

* Strike while the...bug is close

* It's always darkest before...Daylight Savings Time

* Never underestimate the power of...termites

* You can lead a horse to water but...how?

* Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty

* No news is...impossible

* A miss is as good as a...Mr.

* You can't teach an old dog new............math

* If you lie down with dogs, you'll...stink in the morning

* Love all, trust...me

* The pen is mightier than the...pigs

* An idle mind is...The best way to relax

* Where there's smoke there's...pollution

* Happy the bride who...gets all the presents

* A penny saved is...not much

* Two's company, three's...the Musketeers

* Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...you have to blow your nose

* None are so blind as...Helen Keller

* Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded

* You get out of something what you...see pictured on the box

* When the blind leadeth the blind...get out of the way

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Mouthpiece Archives

Top Viewed Issues