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Saturday, July 8, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A California TV reporter is gaining national fame from an unfortunate incident: Being sprayed with vomit by a drunken reveler.

Wendy Burch of KTLA-TV was delivering a live report Tuesday from an "Ironman" competition in Hermosa Beach when she went to interview some of the participants during a portion of the event that called on the competitors to chug beer after a physical challenge.

Burch made note of one drunken competitor vomiting nearby and moved to give her room and question a man who appeared to be holding his alcohol a bit better.

The video shows Burch and the man both end up struck by projectile vomit from yet another competitor standing off-camera.

Burch said the man she was interviewing was asking for it -- quite literally.

"What I didn't notice until later, is that he had a bullseye drawn on his back with the words 'puke here' written in magic marker," she wrote in The Huffington Post.

She said the video's freeze-frame right at the moment of vomiting was a coincidental technical glitch.

Burch continued to report from the event after wiping the vomit from her skin and clothes.

The reporter said she was surprised to see the video quickly go viral, spreading with multiple YouTube uploads gaining thousands of views each.

"To all of you aspiring journalists out there, I'm here to tell you, dreams really do come true -- especially in the age of viral videos," Burch wrote.


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*------------- Finger-Lickin' Good -------------*

A man Oregon, was arrested after he was seen touching a chicken in a sexual manner for his own pleasure. Jackson County police said that they have arrested 27-year-old Joshua Brian Woltmon, after being accused of touching the chicken's sexual organs. Woltmon has been charged with sexual assault of an animal, public indecency, menacing and disorderly conduct. He was also charged with probation violation for meth possession. Woltmon has now pleaded guilty to felony-level sexual assault of an animal. The judge sentenced Woltmon to 20 days in the Jackson County Jail. He will receive credit for the time he has served since his arrest. Woltmon was also placed on two years probation and he was also ordered to register as a sex offender.


*------ If You Can't Find One, Raise One -------*

A married teacher adopted one of her students so she could have sex with him every day, according to police in New Jersey. Burlington Township police said that they have arrested 43-year-old Rayna Culver, after being accused of having sex with her student, who was adopted by her at the age of 15. According to the police investigation, Culver has been married to her husband for 14 years. She has also been a teacher for many years. When the boy was 15 years old, he was kicked out of his home. Culver then decided to adopt the child. The boy told police that the teacher adopted him because she wanted to have sex with him. Over a period of several months, the boy and he teacher had sex every day behind the back of her husband. The boy told police that he was initially afraid to tell anyone because he believed that Culver would kick him out of her home. Eventually, the boy told police about the sex abuse. The boy showed police text messages that he exchanged with Culver, describing multiple sex acts. Culver denied all the allegations, saying that the troubled boy made everything up.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Perhaps the girlfriend put the gun on the seat to give him an involuntary vasectomy.

On the plus side, that guy who shot his own dick off won't be able to reproduce and pass his moron gene to future generations. Kind of a self-solving problem, if you ask me.

How can you just steal a forklift? I can't even figure out how to drive a manual transmission, and you have drunks wandering up to industrial equipment and just driving it away? And was the guy barefoot? Or named Barefoot? Or both? Whatever asshole wrote that story needs to go back to grammar school.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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