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Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Good morning crew,

Has everybody recovered from their holiday partying? I haven't, which is why I took today off.

Everything went off pretty much without a hitch at my house. The only problem I ran into was burning an effigy of King George. That was probably an error in judgment on my part.

But in the end the neighbors, the police and the fire department were all pretty cool about it.

Laugh it up,


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"Airbnb is planning to launch a luxury service for mansions. They say it's perfect for people who want to have everything stolen from their mansion." -Jimmy Fallon


"Spirit Airlines recently gave a family 21 years of free travel after a mother went into labor and gave birth mid-flight. Though they probably should have given those free flights to the guy sitting next to her." -Seth Meyers


How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make that noise? I could see that taking a long time. I bet there was like a thousand years where people were like, 'Yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.'


While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.

"No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!"

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

My job is in the aerospace industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do.

At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, "Defense contractor."

The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, "So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?"

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