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Monday, June 26, 2017

Good morning crew,

We had just a beautiful weekend here in the Chicagoland area. Upper 70s and sunny. I even got motivated to pull the grill out Saturday afternoon.

I always enjoy grilling, until the next morning when I have grab the wire brush and drag the hose out and scrub the thing down.

If it didn't take me longer to clean the stupid grill than it does to cook on it, I'd probably be cooking out every weekend.

The wife keeps telling me to, 'Leave it. We'll use it again eventually.' But I just can't help myself. I know if I don't clean it after I use it, I'll just have to clean if before I use it next time. And I'm just too lazy for that.

Joe

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Discovery Channel is promoting its upcoming Shark Week by promising to have Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps race a great white shark. But don't tell him! It's a surprise!" -Seth Meyers

***

"Goodwill has returned almost $100,000 in cash that was mistakenly donated to them in a black duffel bag. A spokesman for Goodwill said, 'We're not very bright.'" -Conan O'Brien

***

"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, "Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?"

The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately.

A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. "My goodness," the flight attendant says, "I've never seen someone so afraid to fly."

"I'm not afraid of flying," says the man sobbing loudly, "I'm trying to give up drinking."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Judi and Gayle were at an auto show. There they saw a hot-rod with a jacked up rear end.

"Judi, why is the back end higher than the front?" Gayle asked.

"Don't you know ANYTHING?" Judi sighed exasperated. "If you've got the back up like that, then you're always going downhill!"

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